No matter if I'm sleeping, cooking, sitting in a box or playing with feather-flies, some passionate barber always rushes at me without any hesitation, brandishing their shavestick, trying to get my fur. It's true that it can get pretty chilly outside, but if they're cold they should just sit down and grow some fur themselves instead of trying to take mine!
Then one day I met another hairy! I was so happy and quite ready to hug him, but this one was completely angry at me and actually tried to humiliate me by getting me naked. He tried to cut my clothes apart with his cutstick so that everyone would laugh at me but I stopped him in time and tried to get him naked, that way if we're two, maybe it'll become fashion and people will not laugh at us so much.
After a quick contest of who could get the other naked the fastest, I won, and being the sore loser that he was, started pouting and pretending to sleep. I tested his skills at sleep-pretending by pretending to take his wares and found this piece of paper:
I don't know who that "poor fool" is, but he's got the same name as me, so I guess I have to find him to give him that letter, it's the right thing to do.
I figured the not-hairys hang out near or inside their boxes (they call that how-sez for some reason), or on the roads, so I thought I'd go walk around in the fields and mountains to get a little bit of time for myself. After all, I've never had any arguments with myself, so I guess I'm pretty good company.
But no, annoyances are to be found under every stone. I was just minding my own business when this bag of stupid came running at me with his friends. I think he thought I was a mouth doctor (I guess I do look like a lot of smarts) because he kept showing me his teeth but it was way too far into my comfort zone.
I tried to scare it with some fire magiik but it got too close and its fur caught on fire! It rolled around on the ground, and I helped put out the flames with my shavestick, but the bag of stupid (I'll name him Roger) got absolutely exhausted and promptly fell asleep.
After some time walking in and out of dirty and boring places like this,
Deceived again. It was full of other boxes yes, and that was pretty satisfying, but in each and every of these boxes lived some rude individual like her.
I did find some people to buy my wares however. I was quite happy, there's almost nothing that gives me a feeling as good as when people give me shinies for wares. Also, I don't have to carry as much.
I quickly found someone who seemed as annoyed as me about the state of the world and the lack of boxes to lay in. She said she could help me put people to sleep quicker so that I could have more free time to relax under the sun. I hired her on the spot.
When we came out of that box I found her in, there was some commotion in the street. I was quite relieved that they were finally looking for someone else to hug and show their pokesticks to. Me and Not Me walked right into a hugging party. I decided not to participate since I've had enough hugs for a lifetime already, but Not Me ran right into the group like she knew everyone!
I don't know what she told them, I guess she was trying to be funny (almost fired her after that) but soon after she talked to them, the strange huggers came after me and hugged me so hard I got sick. I thought I'd return the favour as a matter of politeness, even showed him how to shave people's fur off their heads and face.
Shortly in the demonstration, the biggest of the idiots fell to the ground and started dreaming. I guess everyone has their hug limit. He did look quite peaceful though. But now, everyone tells me I look sick. I'm just hairier than them, they should be more open-minded.
Shortly after I found a guard that wanted to play a game with me. I love that game, it's one of my favourites! Basically, everyone in the world are playing that game all the time, but some people play it better than others. Since I didn't know him very well I gave him a chance and only played with his shinies for a while. I got lost in the moment though, and forgot to give them back to him. I'm sure he won't mind however. I give shinies to people all the time.
When I read the books, I could feel a very interesting tingle inside of moi, from the tip of my tail to the end of my ears. I'm addicted. I got dizzy and had to sit down but when I got better I realised that I could now use new magiik!
I like magiik. It lets me do stuff easily without having to carry anything, and even help me convince people to leave me alone.
After some time in that big, giant, humongous house, me and Not Me walked out and looked for some new wares to sell. We got lost a lot but found some really nice views of the lands, which made me think.
What if we were also boxes, and other people lived inside us? What if the whole land was just one big box? If I'm already constantly in a box, why am I always searching for the perfect box?
If we're indeed living in a ridiculously giant box however, there's too much stuff in it. There's dirt and bags of stupid everywhere, making it impossible for polite folk like me to relax and enjoy watching time go by.
Like this guy. I was just looking at a pile of rocks with nice drawings on them when he appeared out of nowhere and tried to show me how good he was at magiik. He was indeed much better than me, but since I never back down from a contest of skills, I showed him a neat trick with killbirds to cure headaches.
He was pretty relaxed after that and left me alone.
While I was visiting some people in an old, old box, a mail man arrived in a rush and seemed intent on delivering letters to me again. This time, they called me "Alive" and said that I couldn't leave until they were done with their work. They didn't listen when I tried to explain that it's not my name, of course. Sometimes being too dedicated to your work blinds you, I guess.
Funny thing, I found another letter for that other "Cookie" guy. Maybe he's a hairy like me? I know these letters are not for me because I only know That other idiot and he doesn't know how to write.
Finally, that night, it was getting cold and dark (not that I mind, but Not Me was complaining) and we found a place full of killbird enthusiasts again, who could NOT pass an opportunity to show us their wares. I said I would look at them if they look at mine, but they wouldn't listen, only want to show me theirs.
I tried to show them some manners. You show me one ware, I show you one too. A saleswoman caught one and wouldn't return it. I think she was pretty weak and underfed because she could barely carry one little killbird.
Maybe she was tired because her business partner was so lazy that she had to do must of the work by herslef. I caught him sleeping on the job.
When everyone decided to take a break from showcasing their wares (and not actually taking any shinies for them) me and Not Me went for a nice sleep in a bed and it felt great, we've been sleeping outside most of the time and my fur is starting to be a little rough.
The next morning I found a nice place to study, but Not Me just got drunk instead. I guess I have to keep an eye on her to see if I'm dealing with an addictive personality.
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